Deanna is a mother who initially wasn't sure she wanted to breastfeed, but tried it and then fought to keep her breastfeeding relationship even when it was difficult. Thank you for your contribution to this blog and congratulations, Deanna.Deanna’s Story
My Breastfeeding with PCOS Journey
When I first discovered I was pregnant I was torn over whether or not to Breastfeed. I knew the many benefits of Breast milk, but at the sometime I was concerned that it would feel weird and icky to me, and that my breasts would look like deflated tires after I was done, and since I already had enough issues with my body image I didn’t want to add another one. As my pregnancy advanced I began to read more and more literature about breastfeeding, how it worked exactly and of course, more about how wonderful it is for baby and mom.
I finally decided around 4 months into my pregnancy that I would at least give it a try. By the time I was eight months I had set a goal to try for six months – the minimum recommendation by the AAP. I had talked with a breastfeeding consultant and she mentioned that I might have supply issues due to my PCOS. She gave me some information to read and told me if I had any problems once the baby arrived to give her a buzz.
My daughter was born at 36 weeks following an emergency c-section at 11:46 PM. I was in the recovery room for more than two hours and when I got back to my room she was sleeping. I just nestled with her for a while. The nurse came into check on me and asked if I had fed her yet, I was like no, I don’t know how to do this. She promised to come back and help me. An hour later she still wasn’t back (the maternity ward was so full that they were shipping women all over the hospital, even for deliveries) so I tried on my own with limited success. I couldn’t get DD to latch on correctly. When the shift change occurred the new nurse came on and I asked for her help. She came in and with her help I got DD to latch on pretty well. I kept trying with limited success. I finally asked the hospitals lactation consultant to come in and she gave me even more tips and tricks. Over the next three days that we were in the hospital DD and I kept at it. I won’t lie it was hard for me and her to figure things out since we were both new at it. I had read that it shouldn’t hurt if we were latching correctly so I knew that when I was in pain something wasn’t right. I was lucky in that even though DD had to wait so long to start, she had a pretty strong sucking reflex, it was just a matter of getting her to take the whole areola and not just the nipple.
By the second week PP we were doing much better and I fell in love with BF’ing. By the end of the month we were doing even better and had it pretty well figured out.
I started trying to pump around this time since I had to go back to work at eight weeks PP. I wanted to build up a stash for her to use when she was in daycare. I rented a hospital grade Medela Lactina. I had a terrible time pumping. I was totally stressed because I figured that the second I pumped DD would want to eat and there wouldn’t be enough for her. I barely pumped a half an ounce the first time I tried. By the time I went back to work I didn’t even have enough for one day’s worth of milk. So my provider had to feed DD a bottle of formula by the end of the day, all I had were samples from the hospital since I didn’t really want to give her any.
At work I did better with pumping since I was away home and the stress of caring for a newborn. Also I didn’t have to worry about having enough for her next meal since she wasn’t going to see me until the end of the day. I think I managed to pump 4-6 oz over the course of 4 pumping sessions that first day. That was the most I had ever pumped in one day. I had high hopes that soon I would be pumping 6 ozs at each session.
Alas I soon discovered that pumping was not enough. In spite of all the adjusting I did to it, and all my attempts to relax I was only able to pump 6-8 oz a day and DD was taking almost 4 oz at each bottle feeding session. So basically I had enough for two feeds each day and that was it. I tried everything I could think of, got all sorts of great tips from the Soul Cysters Breastfeeding support thread. I even tried some herbal supplements to see if that would help. Nothing did. So we ended up supplementing with formula during the day and I exclusively breastfed whenever I was with DD. It seemed like DD wanted to breastfeed non stop when I was with her, even as she aged. I often wondered if it was a supply issue, if I wasn’t feeding her long enough for her to get the hind milk, or if it was just due to growth spurts. I now think the issue was that I couldn’t get the pump to work properly for me, and that affected my supply.
I kept up pumping at work 2-3 times a day for almost 11 months. By that point DD was taking an eight ounce bottle and I was struggling just to get 6 oz out in the course of a day. I decided that since the pump was no longer effective for me I would just stop pumping at work. We went over to formula feeding only during the day and exclusively breast fed at night. About 2 weeks after I stopped pumping I noticed DD getting fussier when I would try to feed her. She just popped on and off and seemed like she was constantly wanting to eat. I attributed it to her age at first (she was getting more active and I figured she just didn’t want to stop at whatever time to feed, she wanted to play ), or a growth spurt of some kind, or her attempting to up my supply. Then I was only able to breastfeed her when she was sleeping, she refused when she was awake. Over the course of the next week DD began to outright refuse the breast even when she was sleepy and my milk supply began to dry up. Three days before DD’s 1st b-day she stopped breastfeeding all together. I never felt any pain or engorgement as part of my supply going away so, looking back I think it’s quite clear that I was one of those cysters whose PCOS affected her supply.
I am so thankful for the help of all my cysters on the Soul Cysters Breastfeeding support thread and those who keep up this blog. I wouldn’t have even come close to bf’ing as long as I did without their help advice and support. Even if you make it just one day you are giving your child tangible benefits, and the
longer you go the more they multiply.
If you have any questions or issues at all please ask for help!